Fitting in...

Just when you think you are fitting in and starting to feel like Japan is 'home', someone reminds you that you don't belong here. I was told when I first arrived here that now matter how long I am here, I will always be a foreigner. At the time I didn't understand, because then I DID feel like a foreigner. I was clearly not Japanese! I wondered if they thought I was mistaken that I would evolve one day? I thought it was a strange thing to say. Now, I do understand. When you live in a foreign country for a long time, you usually try to adopt the customs and learn the language as much as you can, and after a while you begin to feel you belong and don't stand out. Sometimes you even forget that you are different, and feel like 'one of them'. My good American friend said to me the other day, 'Foreigner? I don't feel like I foreigner!', and that is how most of us feel. However, it is usually only when someone tells you that you don't fit in here that you are reminded of your own foreignness....then, life goes on again.
Recently, however, it has been harder to bounce back. Those of you who know me well will know that I have been going through severe homesickness for the past two years now. You will also know that I hardly went through it at all for the first 13 years here. I love Japan, and have always enjoyed living here, but sometimes I long for the friends and family of home... I even long for the very soil of home!
When I started this blog I intended to share my life in Japan with all it's struggles and joys. As I look back over the blog what I have written makes my life appear full of excitement (which indeed it IS!). It is an unbalanced picture. There are many obstacles living in this country, and most of them I have conquered and forgotten, but I think it is important to share about my struggles too.
This is an account of something that happened in a Donut shop in our town with 2 of my 'foreign' friends. It is not overly discriminatory, but, if we were Japanese, this lady wouldn't have behaved this way. It is common to get unkind stares, or even 'kind' ones, so we are used to attention, but this kind of confrontation we can do without:
My friends and I were in the Donut shop waiting to be served. There were about 5 or 6 ladies in front of us. They were spread out over the whole counter so we couldn't tell who was being served and who wasn't. How un-Japanese of them, not to form a line! One of the register's opened up and the staff called out, 'Next please'. We waited for the ladies in front to make a move and looked around to see who was next. No one responded and the lady in front of us was talking on her cell phone. The girl behind the counter called out again and the people behind us started to shuffle, so we stepped up and gave our orders. As soon as we did, the lady on the phone hung up and stared at us in disgust. Obviously she thought we had pushed in, but Mister Donuts waits for no man.....oh well. Ignoring her looks we sat down to eat, and the same lady with her friends came and sat right behind us, dirty looks and all. Unfortunately for them, they were unaware that we are well trained in brushing off intimidation and have perfected pretending not to understand. This is a skill most foreigners acquire after their first year.
The whole shop was busy with laughter and conversation, and we were happy to contribute. Suddenly, the lady behind us whipped around and yelled, 'Urusai na!' (Shut up!) at us! At that point I was the one talking, and you know that it takes a lot to interrupt me and cause me to stop mid-sentence. So I eyed her, then my friends and continued talking as if nothing had happened. We chose to ignore it and carry on, as good foreigners do. Don't make a scene. Don't confront them. Carry on pleasantly. Besides, we had lots to catch up on. In Japanese culture people rarely make a scene, and almost never confront anyone, even if the behaviour IS deserving. We assumed she wouldn't embarrass herself anymore, and her friends continued talking loudly with her. After a few more minutes, she turned around and yelled 'Shut up!!!' in English. We continued trying to ignore her and they soon got up and left. What a strange confrontation. After they left one of our kids finally relaxed and asked why that lady was so upset. It was quite unpleasant for everyone.
I would like to say, 'So, there is unpleasant experience number one...', unfortunately, it is more like number 2,026!! Some of my experiences are funny, and some of my friend's experiences unbelievable...but as I remember them, I will share more! Better go, time for a raw egg and seaweed for breakfast....

Christmas in Japan

Let me explain a little about Christmas in Japan. Christmas is a fairly new thing in Japan. When I first arrived in 1992 it consisted mainly of a few decorations around the shops and chicken legs and cream cake for Christmas Eve. Mainly young couples celebrated it then, and Christmas Eve was considered an important 'date night' where women were often presented with jewelery, and taken out to an expensive restaurant by their dates. These days it has become more of a family event where they eat Christmas cream cake on Christmas eve. The shops now stock elaborate decorations and we can even buy a Turkey! People have also started decorating their houses with Christmas lights and some of the displays are really beautiful.
Click here to see the Kobe Luminarie

Christmas day itself is still not a big event. It is not a public holiday, and families do not get together on this day. There are no church services as most people have to work. All the shops are open but none of them will sell any Christmas goods, they are all put away the morning after Christmas Eve and by opening time on Christmas day they have replaced them with New Year's decorations. Our church has a Christmas service the Sunday before Christmas day, and some churches have Carol Services on Christmas Eve.
I often have Christmas parties for my students, and here are some photos of a party for my Children's class. Most of my foreigner friends have learned to cope with being away from family during Christmas, and one way of doing this is celebrating it together, with our good friends. Our spouses don't have the same feelings as us about how Christmas should be spent, but they understand it is important to us, just as New Year's is important to them. Check out the photos of our parties on my main blog Times to Remember.

Sports Day

Sports Day's in Japan are a big event. The teachers spend months planning it to perfection, then the kids practice for it for at least a month beforehand. They are out there in the hot hot sun all day. It is not an athletic event like we would expect, but more of a 'games day'. The school is divided up into 2 teams. The red team and the white team. The sports caps the children buy for P.E. at the beginning of the year are reversible, white or red. This year my boys were both on the red team, which was fortunate for me as some families had kids in both teams and they had to run around the field trying to take pictures of all their kids! The events are then divided up by grade level. Each grade has about 4 events that they participate in. So for us, that means 8 events to watch and 2 events to join in as parents. I joined in the 'Tamaire', which is throwing balls into a basket 5 metres overhead. More balls fell on my head than went in the basket I am sure! The team with the most balls wins. We lost one, we won one. Shibby joined the 'tug of war'. They lost...boo hoo....
Jo had to roll an enormous ball along the field and around a cone which looked like fun (??), and I have some pictures of that, but no video as Shibby took the wrong kid! (Nice...). He also had a 50 metre run, where he was more concerned about the kid next to him, like he was asking him, 'Where are we going?? Shall I follow you...?'...! Very cute. He also had a dance he had to do and some other things I forgot already.
Ken had a 'pole pull' where the team has to pick up a pole and carry it over their line, but the other teams tries to pull it over their line and well, it is a lot of fun. Ken just went over to the team that was winning anyway, and when we asked him why he didn't help the teams that were struggling he said, 'They always run away when I get there...', nobody likes to lose. He had a 100 metre race, and he is no longer afraid of the pistol now so he can run without his hands over his ears...we are very proud...?!? He had to do a dance as well, and he was the best I must say.

The whole day took from 9am to 3pm under the hot hot sun.....why they don't have it in November I will never work out! We fell asleep under the tree during lunch time to the horror of my Japanese friends. Serious business this Sports Day.....! It is a really tiring day, but a lot of fun too. They could do without all the boring speeches from the local council members, but the rest was fun. Everyone had to take a packed lunch, and all the women try and compete as to who can make the best lunch box. I used to make everything from scratch too when I was young and impressionable, but now I just buy the goodies and heat them. We had hamburger patties, fried chicken, corn, egg roll and rice with fruit. Yum. It was so hot though that I didn't eat half of mine! The kids went through one litre of water each and I had to keep filling up their bottles.
This year was Jo's first Sports Day at his school, so it was easy for us to only have to go to one! Enjoy the photos.

At the end of the day, the red team lost....boo hoo....but it was a great effort.Jo rolling his big ball

Ken running the race

Ken's tug of war

Jo doing his dance, he's the one right in the centre of the picture

Ken doing his dance, he is right in the centre

Ken and his friend Masayuki

Ken pulling the pole

Jo running his race, he is the second from the left

Festivals

This is something the Japanese really know how to do well. Everyone loves a festival and the Japanese are no exception. Every summer they hold hundreds of festivals all over the country. You can pretty much guarantee a festival every weekend if you know where to go. Every City has one, every town and every area. Some are famous, some are not. The large festivals have huge fireworks displays which are always a lot of fun. The largest one in the Kansai Area is the PL fireworks. They let off 120,000 fireworks every event...that's 1714 fireworks every MINUTE of the event! I used to go every year, but it got harder with the kids and Shibby working all the time...but it is sooo worth looking at. Here is the last 8 minutes on video from 2006...watch to the end Finale...it is sooo incredible! The whole sky turns red and white. I was so moved when I saw it for the first time live. Some parts get a little hard to see due to the smoke..but it gets really good near the end and I would love for you to see what we get to see every year!
Click here: PL Fireworks (Thanks to whoever made that video......!)
Oh, I just watched it again...it is so good!
Back to festivals...our local festival was last week, they hold it at the school every year and it is always a lot of fun, but the one we really don't want to miss is our city festival, the Kinokawa Festival. They have a fireworks display too, but no-where near as good as PL, but still impressive for our little 'ol town! We can see them from our balcony if you want to come and sip some wine with us. It is held on the 15th of August every year. When the kids were small we used to stay home and have a BBQ on our veranda and watch them from there, but now they are bigger they want to go where the 'action' is..! There is nothing like lying on a grassed hill right underneath these huge fireworks displays with a beer and cheap crappy hot dog! Bliss! Under the huge fireworks displays they usually have endless stalls that sell all kinds of Japanese food and games for the kids. Goldfish fishing, ball fishing, balloon fishing, throwing hoops etc etc. There is often the 'Bon Dance', which is a religious dance they have to send off their ancestors. They all dance around in a circle, and it looks a little like the hokey tokey to Japanese music....and looks just as fun. But the main reason for the festivals is to get all the people together. This is one night that all the locals come out and have fun together. The young girls dress up in Yukata and look so pretty! But there are always so many people....everywhere...people, people, people.....it is really tiring, but energizing at the same time. So, fireworks or not, festivals are a lot of fun and a great way to enjoy the cool summer night air. If you are in Japan between July to the end of October I highly recommend you experience this pagan event at least once! You will see a completely different side of Japan.

Natsu bate

This is a word that you soon learn if you are living in Japan during the summer. 'Natsu' means 'summer' and 'Bate' comes from the verb 'bateru' which means 'to tire or wilt'...(I think!). Either way, if you have ever had it, no translation is necessary! Basically it means that you lose your appetite, you drink but cannot quench your thirst, you are lethargic all the time and have no energy. It is hard at first to know you have it because you feel fairly 'normal' but wonder why you have no energy to do anything! Then someone will tell you, 'You have Natsubate'. Putting a name on it makes it easier to bear somehow...and works for a good excuse to get out of unpleasant appointments. You tell anyone here, 'I have Natsubate' and they will say, 'Oh, that's terrible, you should lie down and avoid cold drinks...'. I have never had to 'fake' Natsubate as I usually get it anyway! Actually, I have it right now. It took me a few days to work it out as it hasn't 'felt' that hot. You know it's hot here when you sit still but still feel the sweat running down your back. But it hasn't been that hot yet so I thought I would be OK. But after 3 days of no appetite, lethargy and thirst, I have decided I have Natsu bate. The easiest way to get it is by going through sudden climate changes, like travelling by train in the air conditioning then walking outside, only to go into an air conditioned building moments later. The sweat glands close off when in the air conditioning and take a while to respond to the change in temperature. That means when you go outside in the heat your body doesn't adjust to the temperature quickly enough to let you sweat.....and most of you know not sweating is a bad thing. Well, I haven't done that, actually we have only used the air conditioner once this summer so far, but I got it anyway! The joys of summer in Japan.....

Something I will miss...

Japan is great for it's technology! This is one of the things that I will miss when we leave this country. 3 weeks ago our gas water heater broke down. We were expecting it to go sooner or later as it hadn't been replaced for 17 years! Not a bad run. While we were umming and ahhing about what to do, 3 weeks passed and we got used to having no hot water. Last Thursday we finally decided to get a new one. I had my first shower and bath in 3 weeks!! Don't worry, I did have sponge baths until then...! It was sooo nice to feel clean again though! It is pretty much the same as our last one... it allows you to set the water level for the bath from 100 litres to 350 litres, and the temperature of the water. It fills the bath for you, then tells you when it is ready. It then keeps it warm for you for as long as you set it for. It also has a timer so you can set it to be ready for when you get home. The benefits of the new one are that it has a wider range of settings, and an alarm button for when you want someone to bring you a Vodka in the bath...at least, I THINK that's what it is for!! The water is now heated a lot faster than before too. It pretty much comes hot out of the tap now, whereas before we had to wait for at least a minute. The pressure is a lot better as well, and for some reason my skin and hair feel a lot softer now! Maybe I just forgot what shower's felt like?!?! There is one digital panel in the bath, and one in the kitchen, so I don't even have to leave the stove to put the bath on! The only thing I have to teach it to do is put the plug in...! Yeah....I WILL miss this place...!

'Obachan's' (Grandma's) Dance

This is a traditional Japanese Buyo dance. My mother-in-law has been learning this dance for some years now...and I think she is really good! She is very particular about the style and hand-movements and it shows in her precise actions. She usually does a dance with beautiful fans, but this time they were using 'tenugui' cloth. Each time they buy a new kimono just for the dance so she has over 30 now. Apparently 30 is not very many according to her! This dance show was in Sakai's Civic Hall that seats 1,500 people. I was very impressed!